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Monday, December 21, 2020
Sunday, December 6, 2020
In my story Something's Not Right, the following letter which my protagonist writer can't let go drives the story:
After your earlier letter I was expecting at the least a diverting read, and not the excruciatingly hackneyed and clichéd disaster that you sent me. Your inane plot plodded along at a pace that made me want to drive sharpened spikes through my eyes, your characters barely qualified as cardboard cutouts, and your dialog was what I’d expect from a failing eighth grade creative writing student. The only thing that kept me reading your ‘masterpiece’ to the bitter end was my fascination over how shockingly bad it is.
I know you must be disappointed that I cannot offer even a single word of encouragement, but I can offer advice. Please, for the love of God, never put pen to paper again unless it is to compose a suicide note. Even that, I’m afraid, would end up as an unreadable mess.
Best of luck in your future career as a busboy or other such endeavor which I’m sure you’ll be eminently qualified for.
I invite other writers to share their worst rejection letters.
Saturday, December 5, 2020
The Last Santa
Emma Sue (honorable mention in Best American Mystery Stories)
The Caretaker of Lorne Green
Some People Deserve to Die
A Guilty Conscience
Something's Not Right