Sunday, June 21, 2015

Give an Archie for Father's Day!

I think anybody who's read any of my Julius Katz mystery stories would agree that there would be no better Father's Day gift than an Archie, for the following reasons:

1) He's compact, no larger than a tie clip, and can be worn as such!

2) Perfect for handling those annoying telemarketing calls! Very quickly your phone number would be put on the top of their Do Not Call lists!

3) Great at handicapping horse races. He'll make you a bundle!

4) No one's better at computer hacking. With a few changes to his neuron network, Archie would be willing to make Donald Trump unwittingly pay your credit card bills, or better yet, transfer all of Trump's assets to your bank, leaving him with only that clump of orange orangutan hair that he wears as a wig. And if you wanted to have that wig snatched from Trump's head, Archie could probably arrange that also!

5) While he's only Julius Katz's assistant, there's probably nobody better other than Katz in solving a murder! And Archie works a lot cheaper than Julius!

Of course, there's only one Archie, and I'm not sure Julius would be willing to sell him (and good luck trying to take him away by force given Julius's 5th degree black belt in Kung Fu). So if you can't have your own Archie, the next best thing would be reading about his exploits (as well as Julius's).

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